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The drunker you are The easier it is to get laid But the harder it is to You may have to picture what it is this month Whoever you've been thinking of The girl at the Pizza Hut Midgets, nuns Whatever little miss it was And with a little hard work, a little luck If you haven't given up Maybe you can get it up Now a is supposed to be fun Instant gratification, a roller coaster But no one wants to get stuck over and over Going home to the roller coaster It's hard to watch your shows And do your homework And when the ride you rode is over It'll cost more than a roll of quarters (You can't get) So pull out!
I know how warm and good it feels (In her pants) But its gettin' crowded 'round here Please, pull out!
If you seem offended by it, that's as far as we go." —Steve M."Girls should try to avoid pre-judging before a first date.Half the fun of going out is getting to know someone new, so allow yourself to let that happen organically." —Oliver B."Please don't compare us to your exes—out loud or even in your head.Sometimes horror stories about them can make for fun discussion, but don't ever bring your ex into the conversation if it's not called for.You don't suppose that she never knows When she might show somebody?Now think about that before you go steady Or maybe at your own wedding (You can't get) If she's your girlfriend Leave her alone with your friends (In her pants) Now, I don't expect no virgin But let 'em try to screw her If she's flirting, or she (But you don't) It won't work man Get rid of her And get yourself a new girlfriend Remember (Give a damn) The currency exchange rate: At this party she's an 8 At the club a 7 At my apartment a 10 Environment dictates The morning after She may slip to a 3 'Cause some things are better just to lust for (This concludes the introductory segment of the Godforbid self-help collection.) Hey, sleep with other races Help out international relations (For further behavioral instructions, consult the nearest strip club and/or liquor store.
The world that it offers is quite safe, fun filled as well as secure.